Destructive conflict response #3 – CAVING IN

Giving in to something after originally opposing.

Caving is in tempting; it feels like the quickest path to end a disagreement. Though, it typically means you sacrifice your legitimate rights. The pain of conflict can cause us to take shelter in this option.

This short-term gain, however, comes at the expense of long-term resolution and creates unbalanced, unhealthy power dynamics in your relationships.

Thoughts that lead to caving in:
• I don’t want to upset anyone.
• Putting up a fight just isn’t worth it.

To overcome caving in:

REFLECT.
• Do I often let others have their way to avoid interpersonal discomfort?
• Will I be satisfied with the outcome if I give in again, or will I be resentful?

REFRAME.
• “If I speak up, this could get messy. I’ll just go with the flow.”
• Try: “Healthy conflict is productive and leads to better results. It’s important I share my viewpoint.”

CHOOSE to be open and honest about your concerns, ideas, or opposing views. Healthy conflict is shown to increase commitment and accountability.

Commit to REFLECT, REFRAME, and CHOOSE a new perspective.

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